Poetry Journey #10

Title: "Love So True" - When Simple Becomes Simplistic

The Cliché Avalanche

Here's this week's offering:

Love So True

Love so true,
Each moment shines brighter because of you.
In your embrace, I've found my home,
Forever with you, I'll never roam.

My Immediate Reaction: Oh no. This reads like a Valentine's Day card. How did I not see this when I wrote it?

The Cliché Count:

• "Love so true" (the title!)

• "shines brighter"

• "found my home"

• "I'll never roam"

That's basically every line. This isn't poetry; it's a collection of romantic phrases I've heard a thousand times.

What I Was Trying to Express: The feeling of finding someone who makes everything better, who becomes your centre. That feeling is real and profound.

Where I Went Wrong: I reached for the first language that came to mind instead of pushing for something true to my experience.

The Technical Problems:

• Forced rhyme (you/true, home/roam)

• Predictable metre

• No original imagery

• No specific details

What I'm Learning: The difference between feeling something deeply and expressing it originally. My emotions are valid, but my language needs work.

Revision Challenge: Instead of "love so true," what if I described one specific moment that showed me this love was different? Instead of "found my home," what specific feeling or action makes me feel at home?

Questions for Readers:

• How do you push past your first impulse when writing about big emotions?

• What techniques help you find original language for universal feelings?

• Should I abandon this poem or is there something worth salvaging?