Poetry Journey #24

Title: "The Shapes of Love" - Metaphor Overreach?

Abstract Ambitions

This week's poem:

The Shapes of Love

Love is curves and angles,
Soft light bending over quiet strength,
A sculpture shaped by time,
By laughter, by longing, by love.
Through every change,
Love does not wane— It deepens, it endures,
Like the brushstrokes of a masterpiece.

My Honest Assessment: This feels like I'm trying too hard to be profound about love through art metaphors.

What I Was Attempting: To use visual art metaphors (sculpture, light, brushstrokes) to talk about how love changes and develops over time.

What I Think Went Wrong:

• "Love is..." openings usually lead to cliché

• "Curves and angles" is too vague

• "Brushstrokes of a masterpiece" feels like I'm reaching

• The metaphors don't connect coherently

Technical Issues:

• Inconsistent line lengths without clear purpose

• The rhythm feels choppy

• Metaphors feel forced rather than natural

What I'm Learning: Big abstract topics like "love" make me reach for grand metaphors that often fall flat.

The Bigger Question: Should I avoid writing directly "about love" and focus on specific moments that show love instead?

Questions for Readers:

• Do any of these metaphors work for you?

• How do you write about universal themes without being generic?

• Is there a way to salvage the art metaphor or should I abandon it?

• What makes love poetry feel fresh rather than recycled?