Poetry Journey #7

"Sitting in a Scottish Tree" - Playful vs. Trivial

Exploring Different Voices

Here's this week's poem:

A playful rhyme for a cozy scene,
In a Scottish tree so serene.
Two souls, the world may say,
Sharing love in a Highland way.

But who is the one, so dear and sweet?
A mystery perched in this romantic seat.
Tell me more, if you'd like to share,
About this rhyme and the love in the air!

My Assessment After "A Marriage Poem": This feels like the complete opposite of last week's confident declaration. Where that poem was certain, this one is playful and questioning.

What I Think Works:

  • The playful tone feels genuine

  • The Scottish setting is specific

  • The direct address to the reader creates engagement

  • It's light without being heavy-handed

What I Know Doesn't Work:

  • "Cozy scene" and "love in the air" are painfully clichéd

  • The rhyme scheme feels forced (scene/serene, sweet/seat)

  • It reads more like a greeting card than a poem

  • There's no real depth or development

Comparing My Voices: Last week I was declarative and formal, this week I'm whimsical and casual. Am I exploring different voices or just being inconsistent?

What I'm Learning: Even "simple" poems need to earn their place on the page. Playful doesn't mean careless, and light doesn't mean empty.

Questions for Readers:

  • What separates light verse from serious poetry?

  • How can I keep the warmth but add substance?

  • Is voice inconsistency a problem or just exploration?

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Strength in Success

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How We Leave Matters: The Chapter That Rewrites the Rest