Poetry Journey #7
"Sitting in a Scottish Tree" - Playful vs. Trivial
Exploring Different Voices
Here's this week's poem:
A playful rhyme for a cozy scene,
In a Scottish tree so serene.
Two souls, the world may say,
Sharing love in a Highland way.
But who is the one, so dear and sweet?
A mystery perched in this romantic seat.
Tell me more, if you'd like to share,
About this rhyme and the love in the air!
My Assessment After "A Marriage Poem": This feels like the complete opposite of last week's confident declaration. Where that poem was certain, this one is playful and questioning.
What I Think Works:
The playful tone feels genuine
The Scottish setting is specific
The direct address to the reader creates engagement
It's light without being heavy-handed
What I Know Doesn't Work:
"Cozy scene" and "love in the air" are painfully clichéd
The rhyme scheme feels forced (scene/serene, sweet/seat)
It reads more like a greeting card than a poem
There's no real depth or development
Comparing My Voices: Last week I was declarative and formal, this week I'm whimsical and casual. Am I exploring different voices or just being inconsistent?
What I'm Learning: Even "simple" poems need to earn their place on the page. Playful doesn't mean careless, and light doesn't mean empty.
Questions for Readers:
What separates light verse from serious poetry?
How can I keep the warmth but add substance?
Is voice inconsistency a problem or just exploration?