Poetry Journey #11

"No Silence, No Confusion" - When Free Verse Becomes Prose Chopped Up

The Line Break Problem

This week's poem:

No Silence, No Confusion

There will never be a day that goes by
That I am not crystal clear about how much I love you—
Aligning my actions with my words.
I never want silence or confusion to cause hurt
When my heart is full of love for you.

My Assessment: This reads like a promise I made to someone, not a poem. It's prose broken into lines, and not very interesting prose at that.

What Works (Maybe):

• The sentiment is clear and direct

• "Aligning my actions with my words" has some strength

• The emotional intention is genuine

What Doesn't Work:

• "Crystal clear" is a tired phrase

• The rhythm is completely prosaic

• No imagery, no metaphor, no music

• Line breaks seem random

• It sounds like a self-help book

The Fundamental Issue: I confused clarity with poetry. Being clear about your feelings doesn't automatically make those feelings into a poem.

What I Was Trying to Do: Write something direct and honest about commitment and communication in love.

What I Actually Did: Wrote a personal statement with line breaks.

Technical Questions I'm Facing:

• How do you write "confessional" poetry that's still poetry?

• What makes free verse different from chopped-up prose?

• Can directness and poetry coexist?

What I'm Learning: Even the most sincere emotions need the craft of poetry to become poetry. Good intentions aren't enough.

Questions for Readers:

• How do you make direct emotional statements poetic?

• What's the difference between confession and confessional poetry?

• Is there any hope for this poem or should I start over?